War Stories

Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor Hawaii

My dear mother-in-law, Ida, married Victor Vicarro sometime around 1940.  They had 2 weeks together then he went to war and never returned.  After a while he was declared dead.  She then met and married David’s father and the evidence of her first marriage was tucked silently away.  This was because she was a protestant and her new husband’s catholic family were not happy about the mixed marriage to begin with, so knowledge of a prior marriage would only add fuel to their issues.  Ida never talked about it again. Then one day when she was very ill with brain cancer, I was given her papers to review.  I came across this other name, and I called her sister-in-law, Betty, for answers.  Betty told me about the 2-week marriage and that “Vicki” had died in Italy.  The Italians buried him there thinking he was one of their countrymen.  The Red Cross found his grave and contacted Ida saying they found her husband.  Ida nearly fainted as she now had a new family.  Then they explained he died, and should she want, they could ship his remains home.  Not sure what happened except she kept the secret.  But Betty said I could now tell her sons.  Betty also shared another secret.  “You know the Christmas Club money you get every year from Ida?”  “Yes, what about it?”  It turns out since she was a war widow, Ida received money for the rest of her life that she put in savings.  At Christmas, Ida would give each of her children and grandchildren a $100 bill in addition to gifts.  She was not wealthy, so I marveled at her ability to be so generous.  She was giving us her war widow money. 

War makes people do strange things.  Some hate people they never met, some behave badly, some love, some lose love, some keep secrets; some become kinder and more generous because they know life can be short. Ida was one of the most generous loving people I ever met.  She was probably born that way, but the war made her see how fragile, how short life and love could be.  I know she often told me she loved me, and she loved her whole family equally. I had not thought about Ida’s war secrets for a long time.  This came up when a new ESL client requested a specific topic:

A new gentleman client of ours wanted our conversation topic to be on Vietnam and WWII (World War 2).  I must confess war is not my favorite subject, and I probably don’t know as much as I should on these two conflicts.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  I came from a military Navy background.  Not only that, so did my husband.  You would think that would be a plus.  However, it meant we moved a lot.  Sometimes the schools were not teaching world history at the same time in each location when we moved.  I cannot speak for David, but I missed some of those lessons. Also, I lived part of it, but was insulated from the ugly, bad part of war by my parents.  Our dads did not talk much about WWII, but both were there before we were born.  We have some pictures and a few stories, but not much.  I knew my dad was on one of the ships that landed the marines on Iwo Jima.  David’s dad was a pilot who was shot down but survived.  He would go on to develop a timesaving device that was used to work on jet engines.  We have an article about his patent invention.  Because of his active military status at that time, he did not get royalties for this.  My dad received a medal, the Joint Services Commendation Medal, for his work during the Vietnam era.  And David’s brother was a marine in Vietnam who survived being injured but still has PTSD many years later as a result.  David had some friends who did not return from that conflict.  David was briefly drafted into the Navy but did not go abroad. 

Here is what I do know and have experience to share: In the 1960’s while Dad was stationed on Oahu Island, Hawaii, we visited the Arizona Memorial.  It is built in the harbor over the sunken ship to remember the men who died there and WWII.  The surprise attack on Dec. 7, 1941, at Pearl Harbor by the Japanese was the event that cause the USA to declare war on Japan.  It was while in Hawaii I also learned a little about my dad’s job.  But only a very little.  Unlike many other children who get to go to work with dad or hear about their dads, that did not happen for my brothers or me.  Dad worked for the NSA (National Security Agency).  It is the military version of the CIA and a spy agency.  There is in fact a spy museum at Ft. Meade Maryland all about it.  My dad would finish his military career a few years later at Ft. Meade.

Back to Hawaii: I was about 12 when I heard my parents arguing.  Dad was required to wear a gun once a month when he had a special duty.  His job was to go to an incinerator and burn shredded secret documents he was decoding.  Mom was very upset about the gun.  I don’t remember her exact words, but it was something like: “You are so clumsy, you could shoot off your foot with that gun.  It is not allowed in the house!”  She had red hair and steely blue eyes.  You did not want to make her mad.  To keep peace, Dad complied. He would lock the gun in the car glove box.  One day he called home to tell mom he had been injured at work. He was more worried about her reaction than his injury.  He said, “I just wanted you to know I did NOT shoot myself, but I got hurt today.”  It seems when he went to the incinerator someone left the hot poker iron in the wrong position.  He picked up the hot end resulting in severe burns.  His hand was completely balled up in white gauze.  It could have looked like a gun injury.  When I saw this, my child’s mind had a revelation.  How could dad who was a typist in an office be injured like that?  I paid a lot more attention to the grown-up talk, and was excited by this now knowing his real job was decoding secret messages.  My parents sat us down and explained we could not tell anyone about Dad’s real job because that could make us all unsafe.  His typical answer to anyone curious about his job would be that he was a male secretary.  (Now when I see the movie True Lies, I think of Dad.  Boring by day but a mystery otherwise). Once many years after he retired, I said he was like 007…he joked more like 006 and a half!

Vietnam Memorial with over 58000 names listed

Vietnam:  After Hawaii, Dad was transferred to Thailand, so I was there as a teenager during the height of the Vietnam war.  When we were leaving Bangkok, Thailand, our plane refueled at the Saigon Airport, so I was actually in Vietnam for 30 minutes.  But we were not allowed to leave the airport.  I will never forget the children I saw.  They were small on the other side of a chain link fence all alone with haunting looks, the orphans of war. A week after we stopped there, the airport was bombed.  This place was later named Ho Chi Minh City. Now tourists go there.  I might like to revisit Bangkok but have no desire to go to Vietnam, maybe because of those children I remember.

Japan:  I will back up here again and mention I lived in Japan at age 6.  I love the Japanese culture and people and have some artifacts from that time.  It was sad what happened there to so many innocents. The majority of Japanese are very peace loving.  I might like to go there again someday.  I have a relative who is part Japanese.

Regarding David’s brother, he was shot, and he shot back.  He does not talk about it otherwise.  The saddest part is we all know it was a lost cause, but our family members were ordered to do a job.  They were spat on for this; and there were a lot of protests.  I still remember a song:  1,2,3 what are we fighting for, don’t ask me I don’t give a damn.  Next stop is Vietnam. I hate war, but I am proud of my father, David’s dad and brother for serving their country.

WWII was well supported by the USA as wanting democracy and value for human life.  Vietnam seemed to me to be more about some self-interests and not so much about saving a people. Just an opinion, so please don’t get mad if you disagree.

There are some good documentaries on YouTube that give an overview of these conflicts.  Also, some movies such as “In Harm’s Way,” “Good Morning Vietnan” to name a couple.

Another war protest song lyric in 1969 was “WAR! Huh! What is it good for?  Absolutely nothing!”

I have been asked my opinion of the conflicts happening today.  As a Christian I see a bigger plan.  Ida was a person of faith in Jesus and so are David and me.  We see the terrible news, but we know we have a God above who loves us, and His ways are not our ways.  They are higher.  The Bible says there will be “wars and rumors of wars, see that ye be not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.”  Matt. 24:6.